Monday, July 12, 2010

fired... FOREVER!

john worked at a steel producing company, yet he made too many mistakes in the company...

so luke fired john, but john wasnt having it and they started a fist fight next to the HCL - hydrocloric acid (ACID)
and before they knew it, john had fallen into the tank and luke ran away..

the acid burned johns skin and into his organs gradually burning his flesh until it had reached his spinal cord where he was paralysed as he burnt and drowned in the acid tank.. luke thought he had fired john, luke never knew it would be forever


1000 WAYS TO DIE #658

-CHECK IT OUT YOURSELF ON BRAVO -

my incident with jake....


it want raw passion, it was me, wanting him, reeeaaally badly.
so Snoop Dog was playing in concert in the 02 dublin, and me and mates just had to go see him. me and jen w got a lift up to the big city and met up with jake, james, alex and darragh..
and the start of the concert, me and jake were just flirting and then the music came on and we started dancing together.. then he pulled me really close and put his hands, ahem.. lower than my waist lets say... i knew i wanted him then and there..so as the music kept on playing i caught old of his hand and led him outside... the was a door at the back of the building with steps leading up to it, so i took him up there, it was dark and only the moon lit up the dark area.
so we started kissing and he picked me up so my legs wrapped around hi, and then he pushed me up against the door, lifted up my skirt and it sorta just happened. it was only a quickie, but the most ironic and gayest song ever came on in the middle of sex.. SEXUAL SEDUCTION!!! I laughed as we kept on throughout the whole song.. now that was a night!!! after we went back into the concert and danced some more..
when Snoop had left the buliding we all went out into the foyer and darragh tried to get drink, he ended up getting vodka mixed with something and it tasted like liqourish, gross!!!
but that was definately a good concert, especially when i wasnt in there XD
jenxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

clubbing S.O.S


so the clubbing plans for tonight...
lacey got caught underage drinking so she's not haveing a b-day getogether however..
danni and nicole and a group of people are going into town drinking, literally, walking around in the drizzle of rain and the damp air, and the cold. sure id love to go if i was drinking, but ive left it too late to get it and now if i was to go, id be the babysitter, and plus we're all staying up in nicoles place after.. i think im gonna call up jen w and ask her what she thinks. to me this sounds pointless and boring, but i might meet a hot guy and i might just have fun.. if i was drinking!!!!
----
so i called up jen w, and she said that her ankle is just bruised and that going into town is a good idea, it might be fun and i might have a laf... its one of those glass half full, glass half empty situations.. and for this.. im seeing the glass..half empty.. all the signs are pointing for me to stay in tonight.. leanne cant go cos she's getting a tooth pulled, jen w spraint her ankle. these are all pain related reasons, maybe somehing bad will happen. i dno. its just a gut feeling...
jenxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sunday, July 11, 2010

dear, its gay deer


what was i meant to tell her?!
she's 10 and obviously curious, maybe this is why kids are evil? cos their babysitters show them pictures of gay gangbanging deer??
the following convo is the one i had with katie, my 10year young niece..
katie: hey, jen? what's that?
me : oh, katie.. em this is a pic of deer honey
katie: well obviously, jees jen, but what are they doing? why are they doing that?
i couldve lied to her, and told her when deer are really happy they get together and have a big group hug? really? she'd 10, not a retard, and i understand why she ran off scared outta her little head, because i spent the next 20mins convincing her its not true
me: well katie, you see, the deers are gay deers
katie; gay? what's that?
me: um, its eh... when boys fancy other boys and you see, you know sex?
katie; sex? hahahahahaha
me; well thats what the deers are doing...
well im not going to lie to her.. but i did put it a bit brutally, actually, it looked like something out of the 'inbetweeners' <--- a british tv programme

im atheist


for those of you who dont know what this symbol means, i will show you the light :D

its eh, the symbol for atheism, it means that those who carry it or use it have no religious beliefs what-so-ever. and i for one, am an atheist. like many teens these days, we are forced to go to church and mass by our parents and even our schools.

i go to a catholic school, where prayers are said at the start of class and regular masses take place. i was baptised, made my commuinion, had a confrimation.. the next step is to be a nun. that isnt ever going to happen, i lost my faith when i was confirmed.. i reject all religions and am sick of being forced to practice religion. in mass i dont recieve communion and when my class say prayers i dont join in, but i stand up with them in respect for their beliefs, and not to piss anyone off, but it is the biggest load of shite EVER.

jenxxxxxxxxxxxxx

TITANIC




ever since i was young ive had an obsession witht he titanic, the real one that is.. and then i watched the movie of it.. my obsession remained but.. who in their right mind would throw that away??? ahem* this old looney..
the least she could do is give it to her grand daughter!! that would pay for her car.. and clothes. set for life!!! but nooo, she has to chuck it in the ocean to be ''wise and noble'' bloody old women.. and she went on a fecking helicopter! she might have a heart condition!!! and then putting her on a big aul boat/ship/dingy.. she could have mental breakdown!!! do people ever think! and did you see what she brought with her?! some people bring rat-dogs but noo she has to bring her fish, how did she get that through airport security? the fish could have crack inits fishy food..
the woman should've been put in a home and the necklace should've been given to her grand children... god... general knowledge here lads :D
jenxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

having fun hurts other people...


so as you do.. i got my mate jen w to run up a slope and back down, iwe've done it billion times before and its a great laugh.. but eh.. it was raining and dark...


so she ran up and fell back down, i swear i almost wet myself, but now she has a spraint ankle and our plans to go clubbing tomorrow night are off, on the basis that her foot looks like it has a growth on it :(


and i dont want to go to laceys birthday get-together because it means i have to frantically search around for someone over 18 to buy me a litre of vodka so i can get pissed. and a pack of fags aswell, im sick of stealing em from my mum, she smokes marlboro lites and i hate them, il smoke em anyway but still, i cant feel the smoke in my chest anymore when i smoke those.. :(


but for laceys bday around 30 people are going into the city and literally getting shitfaced.. wish jen w would be better for 2moro,


fucking irish weather eh?


jenxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

why the fuck we shouldnt care...




forget all the shit that your nan told you.. none of that matters when your young..
its all about the crack....
the fags...
the sex...
the drink..
the clubs...


and when you see a sign saying DO NOT ENTER... enter, its obviously a suprise party for you!!! so go in and do what the fuck you want..
always have that innocent voice only your parents, teachers and the boyfriends you've cheated on with..
and if they ask you..
do you smoke? urgh, thats gross and really bad for me, no way
do you drink? no way!!! im too young and besides, it would damage my organs
and what do you do when a stranger offers you a ride? say no, and run away


however the truth to us awfull teens...
do you smoke?
yes, i do, like a chimney, the guy i get it off is getting too rough and i was wondering would you buy me some?
do you drink?
of course, actually remember that day last week when i came down ith the vomiting bug? yeah that was a really bad hangover.. and the reason my phones cracked is because i lost it when i was pissed and found it in my shoe..
and what do you do when a stranger offers you a ride?
say yes of course, if ive lost all my money from being drunk all night and if the guy is hot, then he'll probly buy me drink and take me into town. and then we can go have a backseat fuck..
so the anwser is yes



so you see, its easy to lie, just convince yourself its true and so will the person you're lying to.
to be young is to be glorious
jenxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

losing my virginity..

i lost my virginity to sean in my mates house, jen w ad john* were down stairs watching a movie and me and sean were upstairs on someones bed making out.. he pulled out a condom packet and chucked them on the floor, and soon we were striped down to our underwear on the bed.
i nodded at the packet and his face lit up like a light...
he looked on the floor for the packet. no sign.. UH-OH
no way was i gonna without a johnny!
but he found it and i got under the covers and took off my thong, he got under aswell and put it on.. i wish i had a camera for his face when he put it on. if that was him putting a johnny on.. id love to see his face when doing a maths question.. priceless and extremely confused :D
halarious. once he had it on, i literally spread em and he went in.. 2 words.. ouch and owwww
my hands scraped down his back and the soreness went away.. then it got good...
im cringing while writing this.. oh god, but i must pursue...
his.. yano.. dick.. kept on falling out so i had to keep on putting it back in. maybe it was because it was so small??? it looked a bit like a swollen pickle.. not like dalys.. dalys was what i was expecting..... no seans was not big thats for sure.. but he did the job i guess...
after we had finished, he dashed out the door as soon as i was dressed and out the front dorr and home because his mum had been calling him.. i dint even get a chance to tell him not to tell anyone. but it was clear as i walked down the stairs they all knew.. did they have fecking walky talkies in their heads?! ones that allow all the guys to know exactly what's happening.. maybe thats why some lads outcast some guys?? maybe their walkie-talkies are broken?? and girls call them dickheads..
speaking to john later that day.. he asked me what room we were in, in case it was his..
no it wasnt johns room, how ever it was the spare room,, not too bad.. the spare room his granny sleeps in when she comes to stay.. YUCK. '' i fucked someone in your grans bed!!!! '' a sentance you wouldnt like to hear..

and so everyone knew, and the torture of screwing sean carried on for a few weeks as all his mates were virgins and he wasnt, so clearly, they all wanted to know the details.. he told them.. everything.. the positions (misionary and cowgirl) and i bet he googled them aswell..
the fact that i moaned, i bet he didnt mention his sex face?

well ill tell you, imagine watching a dog getting run over, then a cat going over a eating the dog, and then mix it all together with a maths problem and there you go..



Saturday, July 10, 2010

start of the whore trail..


so aswell as drinking vodka constantly, (im irish, its what we do) smoking john player like a chimney.. and clubbing.. i had my sights set on those hot guys.. one in particular..

i first met gary* when i was out in the district where my mum lives with lacey drinking. and we bumped into them cos laceys 'love of her life' was in a big group of em. me and gary instantly hit it off. and within a week we were meeting..

meeting ; to be french kissing at organised times
situation where two people are meeting;;;
x and y are meeting, they'll go to the cinema just to make out. they'll hang out with eachother just to make out. you can make out with other people but only if your not exclusive..


after 3 weeks of meeting he asked me to go out with him so i said yes.

so for the first 2 weeks, it was pure bliss, he kissed my forehead, and grabbed me from behind and held my hand like he was proud of me and introducing me to his friends and saying it as if i was a trophy. i loved it. but then came the big exams, the junior cert, the equvilent of GCSE's.
and he had to stay i n and study, he didnt text me onc during that time, and during the exams, he'd go into town with his mates and completely ignore me as i watch him pass the window me and the girls are sitting at. id had enough, and that friday the day the exams finish, i was going to dump him. so i invited to the girls round to my mums where over 50+ people were going underage drinking. a we arrived he stumbled over to me and told me i didnt deserve him and that im amazing and that he loves me, but.. BUT ... it isnt working out. and i turn around from being dumped to find everyone staring at me to see if i was crying because he'd told everyone before me. i had only told jen w and lacey. he had told the whole fucking city...


i was pissed and upset. REVENGE TIME!
i walked off in a stance of shock and annoyance, and then half and hour after.. i saw him kissing a girl right in the corner of the field. no fucking way. so i went over ot his best mate and said, me and gary are broken up, go somewhere with me? he nodded eagerly and we went into the forest, he leant in and kissed me and said..
ive been waiting for 5 weeks for that..
which is the time in which me and gary went out for.. i felt great, no one coukld touch me, and after a good drunken snog in the bushes i went out and got a guy to walk me over ot a local nightclub where lacey, danni and jack were..
i didnt know that jack and lacey had also gone in the bushes to do a bit more than snogging earlier when i was with sean (garys mate). but never-the-less. jack came over to me and told me that he thought i was really sexy and he wanted me more than he had ever wanted lacey, so i brought him into a corner and we snogged, untill he caught sight of lacey, standing behind me, watching us, i turned around and saw lacey and jacks gaze and she ran off in tears. into to the macdonalds toilets stalls and fell to the floor crying to danni. i felt really guilty but also kinda relieved.. dont ask me why..
''when drunk.. do what you want... the only person who wont remember what you do in the morning is you''
jenxxxxxxxxxxx


my dramatic girl woman exchange..

so i guess my life completly changed when i was.. god.. 14. i got my braces off when i was 12, releaseing my pearly whites. my dog died 3 months before i turned 15. he was 17years old..
it broke my heart. that wa in august..
that september i went to spain and got my first boyfriend. we had one week together and he was from dublin.. we made out in the bushes behind the hotel.. then i went back home and we havent really spoken since..

when i turned 15.. everything changed..
my parent split up in july so me and mum moved into an apartment in september. but back to me truning 15. which was in november. i got invited to the local club with the ''popular'' as they saw it gang. so i accepted and the week after my birthday, i went in to the club and saw how my life could be. and i liked it, the bright flashing lights, the guys.. i loved it and i craved more..

so i started hanging around with them and we went clubbing again, and again..
in january i got my first taste of a ciggerette.. i actually started on my own.. my mum said to me never to do it.. so i stole a fag from her packet and smoked it.. and i kept on taking the fags.. i couldnt help myself.. then i wanted to dye my hair, so i dyed it blonde. and i looked good.
i got a boyfriend, he was one year younger than me.. jordan.. but everyone in his age group in the small town he lived in, population, 1'200.. wanted him. so i took him on..

then i chucked him and moved on.. one of the girl from school that i was now mates with.. lacey* introduced him to me. he was one ugly little fecker.. really really big head, massive nose and i was to later find out.. thin knob :D
he was my first love i think, but its only because i felt sorry for him, daly*. u girls started underage drinking, bingeing on the vodka, mixed with fanta.. tasted vile but it got us pissed.
we'd go into an offy dressed up and we'd get served, but at that stage, we had tits that the bartender guy wanted, so if we puffed them up with our cheap little black bra's we'd get naggins and soon litres of pure vodka.
daly wasnt enough for me anymore and the in the city where my mums apartment was. were schools full of rich and good looking guys. so i chucked daly and went after them...

jenxxxxxxxxxx